BUT WAIT!

You can’t watch television today with out seeing an advertisement to purchase something you have never owned but somehow are now tempted to buy because you feel it is a must own item. The best part is the advertiser always says “But Wait! If you buy it within the next 20 minutes we will double your order at no extra cost.” And so begins my life as a hoarder. Now I have never been accused of being a hoarder. I don’t have anything in my attic that can be discovered at the Antiques Roadshow. I don’t even have enough to have a proper garage sale. I have my children’s pictures and mementos in drawers in the bottom of my bookcase. That’s about all that I have saved in 6 decades.

But I have to admit that some of those items look very inviting. And with the special deal I will never run out. Since I’m not a hoarder I have lots of space to put these wonderful bargains. I can start filling up cabinets, drawers, closets and the space under my bed. I’m not sure how the conversation with my next of kin will go. I’m sure there will be a few thoughts expressed such as: “I thought you were downsizing.” “How are you going to pay for your next trip if you keep spending like this?” “You didn’t really fall for that advertising?” “I thought you smarter than that.”

Well, I guess I will have to put off purchasing the most wonderful deal of the year. Maybe, I will just go out and purchase Iraqi dollars. It’s not really speculation. They really will be worth a lot in a few years and then I can really justify my need for all those items.

IS IT REALLY A HOLIDAY?

So National Parent’s Day has come and gone and if I wasn’t a read the funny’s kind of person I wouldn’t have known about the day. I’m not sure about the purpose of this day. Is this a day to celebrate your mother and father still being together? Since you are old enough to buy the card to celebrate the day is this a wake up call reminding them that their job is never done?

Why do we need a special day for parents? Don’t we have Mothers Day and Fathers Day? After all parents choose to be parents. Some choose to do it alone. They are a parent but do they qualify for Parents day since it is plural? Mothers do get more attention than fathers so is this a day to make sure that things are equal?

All in all I think this is a risky holiday, if indeed it is a holiday. I think its best to pretend you have never heard of the day and stick to Mothers Day and Fathers Day.

AN ARTIST

I remember as a child wanting to be an artist. We lived behind my aunt, uncle and cousins. In those days everyone was older than me. My cousins would draw. I so admired their work. Even my sister seemed to be so much better than me. I never seemed to match up to anyone I knew but I still had a burning desire to be an artist. When I went to college I decided to major in fine art. My advisor tried to discourage me. He said I had never had an art class and I would be competing against people who were already much better than I could ever hope to become. So began my college career.

I loved art and because of my love I progressed quickly. After two years of art I became a mother. What a life changing experience. I had so little time to devote to what I loved. Cloth diapers and a lack of a clothes dryer kept me rather busy. My artist oils had to be put on a top shelf and my easel was put in the garage. Art became something I did when my child naped.

One day my preschool son and his friend climbed up on a chair and got down my oil paints. They had a wonderful time painting my grandmothers hand pieced and quilted blanket. How this broke my heart. I decided that day to stop doing art. I couldn’t be a good mother and an artist, I concluded.

Recently I have started doing art again. What a joy. My skills are rusty but are coming back slowly. I have decided that most of my abilities are inborn. I can see colors in a way that others cannot. I understand why a picture is successful and why it fails. I love talking to Kent about my thoughts and he loves my input into his photographs.

I have had a lot of goals in life. Being an artist is not unrealistic. It’s time to create new art for my home and life.

SIMPLIFY

Many years ago a man by the name of Henry David Thoreau went to live at Walden Pond. For two years he worked to simplify his life; building his cabin and growing his own food. Not wanting to be a hermit he visited the town of Concord almost daily, inviting old and new friends to visit him at his humble home.

Without a clock or calendar to remind him to be busy, Thoreau learned to focus on time through the growth of plants and the behaviors of animals. Being detached from worldliness and possessions he used this time to reflect, heal and to decide what his life was all about.

There are times I would like to do as Thoreau and escape from an overly complex life. It isn’t possible to escape but it is possible to simplify my life and thoughts. Looking at my home I find every surface, nook and cranny filled with things. Some have wonderful memories. Others are things I used at one time and no longer find useful, or received as a gift and hold dear because of those who gave them to me.

My thoughts are like my possessions. As I clear out my thoughts I find simple conversations and knowledge means more than complex speculation. I find joy in hearing about others good actions and successes rather than the headlines in the news. I have time to sorrow with those who are sad and to encourage and listen. Yes, I need to spend more time living at the Walden Pond I have created.

THE BROWN HEADED COWBIRD

The bird feeders in my backyard have always brought me joy. But there is one bird that visits my birdfeeder that I really don’t like. It’s the Brown Headed Cowbird. This medium sized black bird with a brown head flies in groups. They descend on the feeders and chase all the other birds away. They throw the food out they don’t want and eat the seeds they like, wasting much of the food. They are not pretty; they don’t have a beautiful voice. They also have a nasty habit of laying eggs in other birds nest so they don’t have to work at sitting on a nest and feeding their young. Basically, they are pests.

As I researched the birds I found there were foods they did not like. That’s what I started putting in my feeder to discourage these parasites of the air. Still there was a question in my mind. If robins, finches, swallows and the like are raising these birds how do they know they are brown headed cowbirds? How do they know to leave the one that has nurtured them and find their kind?

This question goes unanswered for now. But I did observe an interesting site one day. Out on my deck were a large group of cowbirds, mostly male. They had lined up a group of young male cowbird and were teaching them an elaborate dance. They were on one leg with their wings fanned. Slowly they tilted back and forth changing legs in a highly structured dance. The young birds tried to mimic the adults. They fell off the railing and to the ground numerous times but the adults continued to bring them back and teach them the rudiments of this dance.

I still don’t like the cowbirds but I have a new appreciation for nature. I have often wondered if we are like the cowbirds birds. How do we seek out our own and find those like us. What elaborate dance do we learn as we try to fit into our groups? We see young people wanting to belong and joining gangs. There are expectations and behaviors that they need to learn to belong. When one joins a church there are doctrines to learn and behaviors that change. When we volunteer or move into a neighborhood there are things we need to do to be successful and fit in.

Unlike the brown headed cowbird we can change groups if we don’t like what is expected, the behaviors learned, or the ideology presented. Many times we stay in a group because it is familiar, or it is too hard to change. There is a saying “we stay in hell because we know the road signs.” This month I have been challenging myself to change is positive ways. I like what I see. Change can be frightening and hard but it is worth the effort.