STRANGE ATTITUDE

Today has turned out to be a very boring day. I had the house sprayed for ants and spiders. Laundry is being done. The kitchen is clean and I am have been cleaning closets. When I was young it was called keeping house. Women took great pride in being able to keep a good house. Times have changed. Anything you can hire out no longer is important.

Professional organizers organize. Cleaners will pick up your laundry and bring it back to your house. Housekeepers clean houses. Stores deliver groceries. Accountants keep track of finances. Nurseries and daycares care for children. Travel agents plan our vacations.

I am a professional organizer. People pay me to organize their homes. I am good at laundry and I know how to drive to the cleaners. I can shop (my husband thinks all too well). Why, I’m good at everything on the list. So how come it thrills me if someone does the work for me and boring when I do it myself? Shouldn’t I be as excited about my own accomplishment? Maybe the problem isn’t the work but my attitude.

PONDERING

We live in a world where we feel a need to explain our selves. “I won’t be attending…but let me explain why.” “I didn’t do anything about…let me defend my reasoning.” “Yes, I said... but let me clarify.” The need to enlighten, explain, give details, justify, or help others to understand seems to be innate. I wonder how many people really care why we did what we did or are doing what we are doing? So the question becomes, do we explain because we are trying to help them understand or because we want to be understood? And I guess to ponder further does this whole process involve making us feel better about our decisions and actions.

BRINGING THE OUTDOORS IN

My Korean sister-in-law came to live with me for three months back in the 1970’s. She taught me more about Korea than I could have learned studying the history for years. I loved the foods she prepared and even learned how to prepare some of them.

My sister-in-law didn’t understand me. She said if I lived in Korea I would have a nanny, house keeper and cook. My time would be spent getting my fingernails done (in the 1970’s that was unheard of) and tending to my houseplants.

I have only had one successful attempt at having an indoor plant survive. This was a cactus that thrived on benign neglect. Every 6 weeks I would flood the cactus garden and then poor off the excess. Two months ago I decided it was time to try again. I got a plant at the grocery store. The girl in the floral department helped me look through books trying to figure out what kind of plant it was. We never did figure out.

I planted my green leafy friend in a large pot in my bedroom. I placed special halogen bulbs in the pot so it would get enough light in the dark corner reserved for this new little ray of sunshine. So far the plant has done well. I have had to adjust how much I watered and how many hours we had the lights on. But all in all I like what is happening.

I have stopped feeling panic every time a leaf falls to the ground or there is a yellow leaf. I have to remind myself this is a learning experience. I didn’t buy an exotic plant just a plant that was easy for beginners to have success with. Maybe next year I will be ready to put a plant in the main part of the house for others to see.

CHILDREN

Today I went to church. I go every Sunday. This Sunday, however, was different. The entire program was children singing and speaking. I recognize that adults led the music, played the piano and worked with the children. That being said I loved today. Children at this age are so innocent and kind. They were happy for each other when they did good and looked the other way when there was a mistake. Some of the children were shy and some of them couldn’t wait to do their part. All in all I want to say “what a delightful service.” I wish you could have been there.

AUTUMN

Autumn is back! I can smell it in the air. I have been waiting for the summer to end. Not like a little child waits for their birthday or Christmas but looking forward to all that fall will bring. First, there is the end of what appeared to be an endless summer (Yes, I feared Global Warming in the 1990’s). Fall was the time when a new grandbaby would enter our lives, which she did. Fall is also when my 2 California grandchildren will be visiting for almost 3 weeks. Fall is picture taking time for my husband. I look forward to the drives and outdoor time with him. I love the foods and colors of Autumn. My list can go on for a very long time but I know you have your own reasons for loving (or not) autumn.

HAIKU

Haiku is a non rhyming poem with 3 lines of 17 syllables: 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second, 5 in the third.

                    Harvest moon this night

                    Hospital nurseries are full

                    Change is in the air

                    First there were 5 friends

                    Waiting to be a mother

                    Now only 2 wait

                    Peyton came in third

                    Daughter, granddaughter, sister

                    Cherished from the start

                    Joy, tears and laughter

                    Continue as uncle, aunts

                    Visit the wee babe

SENILITY OR WISDOM

I recognize that I will never fit under the category of a brilliant or witty writer but I still feel the need to give some advice to fellow writers and bloggers. Recently I made my annual trip to Facebook. I also have been reading some of your blogs. One of my basic beliefs: "If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report …we seek after these things” makes me wonder what some of you are thinking. Since I find much of what is written fits under the description of garbage or intent to harm I regret that I will have to stop reading some of your blogs and much of Facebook. Should any of you read this I would suggest a good dose of common sense and a reminder of the Golden Rule when you are writing.




For those of you who are fun, interesting, enlighting keep up the good work.

DISCLAMER: Since I am a senior citizen I can get away with this blog advice. Chalk it up to senility or wisdom as you choose.

GOOD TIMES

We met with some mighty fine people this weekend. And as reported in the Richfield Reaper “A good time was had by all.”

Times may have changed but good times are the same.

• Good people saying things that make you glad you're with them
• Listening to good stories that make you want to be better
• Laughter
• Arriving home safe after driving on a dark and stormy night
• Being with your best friend
• Time with family and friends
• Good food served by those who care
• Hard work but not too much
• After a very hot summer seeing signs that fall is in the air

BIRTH

Today we are waiting for a grandbaby's début. Everyone is encouraging her but she is just not ready. I find this birth process interesting. We didn’t do birth. We adopted. Now before you tell me how much easier it is to adopt than give birth I need to contrast the experience of waiting. In adoption you wait for years. There were surgeries, exams, travel, endless forms, interviews, home studies both before and after the birth. When we found out we were parents our children had been born. With Nate we had to go through a slow court system that took 2 month before we could hold him for the first time.  With our other two we found out about their birth and had hours to get ready.  Finally, after a year or two a court told us they would let us remain a family.

Early on in the birth process we knew a baby was growing. I even got to go and see the ultrasound in 3D. I have placed my hand on a round sphere where my daughter and daughter-in-law’s flat stomachs had been and felt my grandchild move.


I hear all the talk about babies dropping, dilatation, membranes, and such. Though I don’t know what the terms mean I do know I am about to experience birth again. Holding a child so new was an experience I can’t describe (thank you so much Erica for being so sensitive to this need) and I am about to have the experience again.

My daughter, like almost all women before her will experience pain. After my daughter decides she doesn’t need to experience all the birth experience the doctors will give her an epidural to block the pain. Then she will be a mother.

I am so grateful that I could be a mother. I don’t have words to express how grateful I am for three wonderful women who went through the birth process and then gave me their babies. If I was given the choice between birth and adoption I would choose adoption for only one reason. I wouldn’t want any other children other than Nate, Andrea and Ben. But… I wonder what it would have been like.

IN HONOR OF...

When my children were small I went with them to buy them a parakeet. Nathan’s bird was  green and Andrea’s was yellow. During my childhood my mother and her sister always had a parakeet in their homes. They said this reminded them of their father who had died in a coal mining accident when they were small.

Coal miners always had canaries or other small birds in the mines. They enjoyed the song of the bird. Also, the birds were so sensitive to the quality of the air that if there was any gas in the mine the bird died quickly. This gave the miners the warning they needed in order to escape before there was an explosion.

I don’t know how my grandfather Jacobsen died. My grandmother never talked about him. When I was a teenager my grandpa Rich (who also was a coal miner) talked to me about my mother's father. He said I needed to know about the sacrifice Grandpa Arno made by working in the mines. My grandfather also took me to the Schofield mine and showed me a plaque where the worst coal mine accident in the history of the United Stakes occurred. I didn’t understand the significance at that time. It has been many years for me to understand what it meant to a community to have a coal miner die in the mines.

MY INDOOR GARDEN

About 2 years ago I got an Areo Garden. When I first got my garden I thought “this will be a wonderful way to save money because I will grow my own herbs for cooking.” I put the herbs in the garden and they started to grow immediately. As they grew I found myself cutting them back but never really got into cooking with all the herbs. After a long winter of feeling guilty about the herbs I moved them into pots on my deck. They really grew there. I replaced the indoor herbs with lavender. I imagined beautiful lavender plants that could be made into swags to decorate my house. What would be more natural than a swag that smelled like Southern France? I didn’t do a lot better with lavender than I did with herbs. They grew but the fragrance wasn’t there. The plants grew in vines not tall plants. So my plans of swags were out.

I was beginning to feel like a failure when I decided to just give ordinary flowers a try. I used the random method of picking out flowers. I just chose what ever looked good in the picture. When the pods arrived I placed them in the Areo Garden and let the machine do the rest. Soon I had beautiful fragrant plants. For 6 months every time I walked over to my sink I was greeted with the flowers and their fragrance. The plants only last about 6 months and then they need to be taken outside.

Last week I started my second flower garden. I chose different plants than before. I can only imagine these beautiful blooms all fall and into the winter. My garden has brought so much sunshine into my kitchen.

A PUZZLE

Many times I have tried to make a change only to fail. I think, “I just don’t have enough self control or will power.” I am beginning to believe that changing is less about control or power over our identity and more about gentleness and compassion toward self. I think I am complex puzzle not a simple individual and it's when I recognize and know who I am that I am able to piece the puzzle together that precipitates change. Could this be self-esteem?

THE PERFECT PICTURE

I enjoy looking at my husband's photos. He is getting to be quite good. With the new programs on the computer manipulating the photo or hiding flaws is very easy. Kent has gotten good at creating a perfect picture. I, on the other hand, have had fun taking his photos and creating works of art by cropping one piece of a photo and blowing it up. Everything changes once I begin to crop a picture. It is sometimes very difficult to really imagine what is there or how it originally looked.

Life is like that. If we focus on one thing its hard to see the whole picture. Maybe that one thing is a flaw or something we wish wasn’t there. All we can see is that one little flaw.

I remember an old Superman movie where Superman needed to change the outcome of an event so he flew around the earth counter clock wise in order to move time backwards. That way he could make the changes he needed to. Though not possible there are times I wish it could be done.

FOR ALL TO KNOW

Today is our anniversary, 42 years and counting. But then it’s not how long you are married is it? The important thing is how you are living within that marriage. Just for the record I love being married to my best friend.

THIS WAY OR THAT

I remember when we were first married gas was 25 cents a gallon and we could get all the way from Salt Lake City to St. Louis for 10 dollars. I remember paying 10 cents for a Saturday matinee movie and 3 cents for candy. I remember living on my $86 paycheck. So the list goes on. As we get older we have a tendency to do a lot of remembering the old days. Remembering is fine but I think it reminds you how quickly time has move on. It’s like walking into a home that is decorated in truly primitive décor. It is fascinating to look at all the things that have been preserved and collected from the past. You can look with fascination for a long time but in the long run it isn’t very comfortable.

I don’t want to go back to driving a little Volkswagen bug and not having a microwave. I look forward to being part of the iPod generation. Being able to get to and see the world in hours instead of weeks. I love the internet and the ability to research any topic instantaneously. I miss getting letters but love email and wouldn’t trade it for anything. I have come to think that getting old doesn’t mean always looking back. Looking forward to exciting times is better.

MY NEW HOBBY

Kent and I were having a discussion recently. He said that the car he bought last year would be the last car we would probably ever buy. When we retired we would need to live much more frugally. So I’m going to do my part. I have taken up a new hobby, cooking. Cooking is not something I have put a lot of time into in the past. I did what was necessary because we needed to eat but I have to admit my cooking was flavorless and not something to remember unless it was at 2:00 a.m. and you felt indigestion. Eating out has become something we have started to do more often than not. I don’t need to review the advantages of eating out but I probably should mention the disadvantages. There is a lot of sodium (salt) and fat in foods prepared in restaurants and fast food establishments . The portions are much larger than they should be. The conversation isn’t always good because you are surrounded by strangers. Now I feel better getting that off my chest.

My new cooking hobby will make it so we eat out less, food is more flavorful and healthy, and we can cook together once we are retired. Now my new hobby needs tools and an organized kitchen to store all those tools I will need. My stove is a builder’s grade 12 year-old-stove that cooks on high or low. There is no ability to regulate the temperature. The oven doesn’t like to be told what temperature to be either. It far prefers to keep you guessing. I need a new refrigerator because….. well because I can’t be expected to cook with an old refrigerator. I don’t even have an icemaker or cold water dispenser. I also need new counter tops and a back splash. We will need to paint, put up window treatments so I enjoy my time in the kitchen more. I will need pots and pans, an outdoor grill, dishes, and table linens. I’m beginning to feel a little overwhelmed with my new idea of a hobby.

At times like this it is good to go to lunch with a friend. We can discuss this at Mimi’s over a salad and muffin.

NOT SO FAMOUS QUOTES

So many times we look to others to inspire us. We need a lift or guidance and a quote from an individual we respect helps us considerably. Two of my favorite quotes are from interesting people but not really respect individuals. The first from Evita Peron. As she lie dying, surrounded by loved ones and family she turned to her maid and said “don’t forget to remove the red fingernail polish.” In the same spirit my beloved daughter-in-law reminded my daughter to get her toenails polished before she went into labor because there is nothing worse than having to stare at your feet for hours and see ugly toes. I just love it!

My new favorite quote is from Marilyn Monroe. “All of us are stars and deserve the right to twinkle.” Now she didn’t say shine. Shining puts you out in the forefront which puts too much of a burden on me. I don’t want to be out in the forefront. Just standing around twinkling is great! (Don’t leave the ‘w’ out unless you are under 2.) I’m fine with being part of a group of twinklers. I don’t want to shine so bright that I diminish someone else’s twinkle.

So today as I look at my toes and wonder if I need to get out that swamp green SHREK polish of my granddaughter’s I will contemplate how to best twinkle.