STOPPING

At this time when we are filling every minute with purchasing, wrapping, decorating, cooking, visiting and generally celebrating there are few events that cause us to stop. Today, however, I had one of those events. My brother-in-law, Glen died this morning. Even though I knew he was very sick and it was expected that he wouldn’t live throughout the season it still is hard.

Glen was very different from most people you meet. He liked his hair long and his mustache wide and bushy. He was brilliant when it came to building and fixing. I’m sure it will take Teri, my sister, the next 5 years to decide what to do with his antique cars, trucks, farm equipment and assorted gadgets.

Glen loved Teri. They have been married since the early 1970’s. During these years they have always been together. They raised 3 children. Teri helped run Glen’s garage and tow truck business. Together they built the home the live in. Teri has helped Glen work on his loved classic cars and motorcycles. Glen helped Teri with her bread and breakfast.

Saturday Glen will be laid to rest in his family cemetery in Wales, Utah. Kent and I will be there. We will visit with family and do our best to give comfort to Teri and our niece and nephews. Then on Sunday at 6:00 AM we will head back to St. Louis for the activities here with our friends and family.

WHERE AM I GOING

I hear people describe their lives as a living hell. They see no way out even though I might suggest a way out. I believe people stay in hell because they know the names of the streets or to put it another way they are afraid of change. An analogy could be used of traveling along a highway to get home. I recognize the street signs and land marks. If I want to get to my destination and not continue downtown then I need to turn off the highway. The same is true of the direction we are going with our lives. If we don’t like where we are or where we are going then we need to turn off the road we are on.

WHO STARTED CHRISTMAS?

Just a thought:
"This morning I heard a story on the radio of a woman who was out Christmas shopping with her two children. After many hours of looking at row after row of toys and everything else imaginable, and after hours of hearing both her children asking for everything they saw on those many shelves, she finally made it to the elevator with her two kids.

"She was feeling what so many of us feel during the holiday season time of the year. Overwhelming pressure to go to every party, every housewarming, taste all the holiday food and treats, getting that perfect gift for every single person on our shopping list, making sure we don't forget anyone on our card list, and the pressure of making sure we respond to everyone who sent us a card.

"Finally the elevator doors opened and there was already a crowd in the elevator. She pushed her way in and dragged her two kids in with her, and all the bags of stuff. When the doors closed she couldn't take it anymore and stated, "Whoever started this whole Christmas thing should be found, strung up and shot."

"From the back of the elevator everyone heard a quiet calm voice respond, "Don't worry, we already crucified Him."

Christmas

It’s Christmas time. The question I am being asked by my children is “who are we going to be a secret Santa to?” This has become a tradition in our family. We have done it differently over the years. Sometimes it is giving our children money and having them report back to us what they had done. For the past couple of years we have known of families who needed help and we have given to them.

Today I had a handyman in our home. People always talk. He talked about his teenage children and how hard it was at Christmas because work is limited at this time of year. This year he has taken his niece and nephew into his family. They are 1 and 3, the ages of my grandchildren. I took two gifts from the many gifts I had purchased and gave them to the handyman for his youngest family members. He started to cry. Sometimes we don’t realize how we can bless people’s lives.

Create

Click on the word Create if you want to be inspired!

SUNDAY'S LESSON

As I prepare my lesson for Sunday I have been doing a lot of thinking about how this time in the history of the world is different from any other. The first difference I see are our volumes of scriptures. Never has there been a time when the average person had access to the scriptures. In addition to the scriptures we have them cross referenced. The Book of Mormon is being translated into new languages every day. This past summer a Bible with cross referencing to the standards works was published in Spanish. We have on going revelation. We can listen to prophets as they are speaking, we can read their talks in magazines, books and the internet.

I am also impressed with the fact that this generation (including me) was reserved for this time. "A might work is going forth among the children of men!" This past month I have been working on a new web page. I am trying to accomplish a mighty work. With pornography addiction so pervasive in our society and church I feel a great need to do my part to stop or at least educate people on how to deal with this insidious plague.

I feel like Moroni of old wanting to raise a banner to call everyone to remember that their life and liberties are threatened. Not by kings men or invaders with weapons but by the very forces of hell.

Well on that cheery note I think I will go enjoy the sunshine before my clients arrive.

Grandma's jelly

I have juice to make jelly. I know it will be a lot of work so I have procrastinated all week. Today I got out my small jars with the lids and rings as I remember watching my grandmother do when I was a child.

The process of making jelly and jam hasn’t changed over the decades. I purchased pectin in the same yellow box I remember my grandmother using. Preparing, cleaning and measuring with exactness is necessary if I am going to have the results my grandmother had.

My life is much like making jelly. I have to prepare and make myself clean from the world. Following the Lord Jesus Christ with exactness is also necessary. If I want to achieve a life that is desirable it will take some work.

During the year I will share most of my jelly with family and friends. For today I will find satisfaction looking at the full jars. My life will also be shared with others. For now I need to find joy in my progress.

BIRTHDAYS

Everyone reacts differently to birthdays. For me I love having time with my children and grandchildren. So my birthday had to be described as perfect. Dinner with some children and a granddaughter, (for clarification I consider my children’s spouses my children) and phone calls to children and granddaughter in Pasadena. Remembrances and time spent with good friends have rounded out the week. How full my life is with wonderful people.

COMMON SENSE

Today is a day when I do counseling. Every hour and a half a new client walks in the door. Once I had a client ask what gave me the right to tell him what to do. Couldn’t he just figure it out without me? He decided to stop counseling. Years later he came back. His life was a mess and he was in legal and financial trouble. This time his question was how did I know this was going to happen.

Many times we look to common sense to figure things out. The problem is our common sense is tied to traditions taught to us by our families. All families have dysfunctional thought processes mixed in with logical thoughts. They don’t seem dysfunctional because to us they are normal.

I have thought about the dysfunctional thoughts that have guided me throughout the years. It usually took a crisis in my life to make me examine what I was doing. One example was my father taught that we should work hard if we expected to have anything in this life. Tied to that was only those who were lazy looked to others for help. Hard work is a good thought process but to never help others or to never admit we might need help is not good.

I remember working with those in the Welfare to Work program. I remember feeling overwhelmed at the problems facing these women as they tried to get away from welfare and begin a process of earning a living. Some of the women had never had anyone in their family employed. They didn't have a roll model. The common sense of their families taught them that when they reached a certain age they needed to apply for welfare.

In order to help these women leave a life of welfare they need to learn how to find a job, clothing, and daycare. They also needed to be taught how to get up on time to get to their job. They had to be taught to respect their employer and have a work ethic. Were they lazy or had their family common sense taught them to look to others to support them?

As I go through the process of deciding who I will be I need to make sure my decision is not based on common sense.

HOME

I love the plants in our yard. When we moved into our home 10 years ago the only thing in our yard was some sod in the front and grass seed trying to grow on clay soil and rocks.  We have worked hard at getting our yard to look beautiful. Credit has to be given to Ben for his efforts the summer he was home after his mission.

Our goal was to have a yard that encouraged wildlife. This we have. There are pros and cons to achieving our goal. The bunnies love our shade garden. Hornets love our holly plants. I get stuffed up when the birds congregate around our windows and doors.

We can enjoy flowers for most of the year. One year our roses bloomed into December. The trees provide shade for us and homes for the birds in the area. We have endless pleasure looking out the windows at the plants and animals. I think the most positive thing is how happy Kent is when he is working in the yard. He talks about what he uses on the lawn, the height of the lawn mower and how much water he needs to use. He worries about the trees and plants.

Leaving our home and yard will happen one day. We hope it will be for a mission. We recognize that a large home might not meet our needs in the next ten years. For now I love our home.

FIRST WEEKEND IN OCTOBER

It is 12:18 and I can't sleep. I don't need to put myself in my counseling chair to figure out what is wrong. Its General Conference. When I stop my mind doesn't. I have gone over to my craft table and did artwork. I have read fiction. I even tried listening to the first session of conference again. Nothing helps. I have just absorbed too much information. I love that feeling. I also love a good night sleep.

TRADITIONS

Once again it’s Thursday and time to be with my oldest grandchild. I picked her up from school and we did something she had wanted to do for a long time. We went shopping at Trader Joes. Trader Joes is the only store that has child sized carts. I didn’t have a shopping list. Aubrey did. She wanted to bye Babybel Cheese and baby sized pumpkins. We were successful. I also got some veggies for a salad. I love our Thursday night traditions.

I love all the traditions I have with my family. I also believe that a good tradition has to come with an expiration date. For the past few years every Sunday my youngest two children and spouses have come to dinner. I have enjoyed this time. As we all change and lives get busy our tradition has to change also. We still enjoy being with our children. We just respect that this tradition is changing. I guess that is one of the measures of happiness; the ability to find joy in change.

YESTERDAY...

Yesterday we attended a funeral for Kent’s law partner. His association with Charles A. Seigel has been daily for 36 years. That is a long time. So many people we have known for 36 years were there. It was good to see them and to visit with them. Time to catch up on the lives of those we lost track of. Ask about their children, jobs, spouses and health. Everyone had gotten older. Funerals are such an unusual occasion for being with people.

Normally, I don’t like funerals. I liked this funeral. There was no congregational singing or long sermons. I liked the scriptures that were used. The family and friends didn’t get up and talk about Charles. There was a eulogy given by a son. It was dignified as a funeral should be. I especially liked the tenderness the Rabbi showed to the family. I liked the closed casket.

I liked that one of the daughters was having a gathering at her home in the afternoon. Food would be served and people could come to visit, give and receive comfort. I especially liked that there was no funeral potatoes, green beans with cream of mushroom soup or over cooked ham. When I die I want a funeral like this one.

SACRIFICE AND SERVICE

In some cultures those who are my age have taken a life of sacrifice. They say they are ready to leave their worldly life and enter a life of service to their fellow man. Unfortunately, in the western culture age is viewed as synonymous with senility. Those who have aged are no longer useful nor do they have much to contribute.

I have decided though the society I live in might look at me as past being useful, this new time in my life will be one of sacrifice and service. What sacrifices am I willing to make and are they selfless or selfish sacrifices?

To be selfless my service needs to have no thought of reward, either here or in the eternities. The Prophet of my youth, David O. McKay said that the principal reason the Church was organized was "to make life sweet today, to give contentment to the heart today, to bring salvation today..."

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf said "Wherever you have been planted on this beautiful but often troubled earth of ours, you [I] can be the one to 'succor the weak, lift up the hands which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees' (D&C 81:5)."

True service should help me become more Christ like. What greater blessing could I have than to be a partner with the Savior in doing good.

THIS IS WHO I WILL BE!

There is much evil in the world today. Todays news is all about terror, evil, floods and hate. The saddest news is always when family members hurt family member or when there is violence against children. Closing the curtains in my home and picking up a good book seems a safe place. Unfortunately, that doesn't make anything better.

I have always believed that one person could make a difference. In the past I would work for months on a loosing political campaign or I would work to defeat a proposed new law. Never being on a winning team would get discouraging, but I still believed I made a difference.

So what kind of difference can I make now? I can't change the world but if I raise the cry "you can do it" maybe one life will be changed. I guess that is who I need to be in this time of my life. A light to others guiding them to a feeling of hope.

TODAY I AM...

Today I am a grandmother. Most times being a grandmother is a fun, part-time activity. Today, Aubrey is here because she is sick. Sick children are interesting when they begin feeling well. They want to do everything but but they don't have the energy they need.

So far today we have played office, hotel, school, and artist. When we were finished pretending we played with the doll house, play-doh, scrapbooking, watched a movie, painted, and had lunch . It is now noon and Aubrey wants to take a bath in grandma’s big bathtub but grandma thinks we need a rest first. Maybe my granddaughter has the energy she needs and it's grandma who doesn't. I’m not sure what we will do for the rest of the day but a rest comes first.

WHO WILL I BE TODAY?

Amazingly enough we have to reinvent ourselves every so often. Today, I realized was one of those days. What do I want to be now that I'm 60? It seems like every decade I reinvent me; student, bank teller, young wife, artist, military wife, mother, volunteer, political activist, quilter, student, empty nester, mature (and much more fun) wife, professor, counselor, grandmother, friend and traveler. 

I have felt the need to once again start using my art. It has been many years since I was involved in art. Once it was a passion. I enjoyed making things for me and for others. I walk though our home I see the fruits of my labor. But I'm changing and the art on my walls needs to change also.

I have a desire to write. I have learned many things over the years. Surely, I could write something interesting and useful to my fellow man. Where would I begin? How could I make sure it would be good? Am I too critical of myself to freely write for others to read? Maybe, that is where I could start the growth process.

I watch friends competing in triathlons and marathons. I will never do something like that but what about challenging my self physically. I could learn to cook like a chef. Is it time for me to go back to school and learn in an academic setting? Do I need a new volunteer experience?


All these ideas are good but what is best? Today, I ponder. I know an answer will come soon.

After Years of Counseling....

After doing counseling these many years I wonder if I have really learned anything about people. Maybe I have learned one thing. The normal people in our life are forgotten and the really different people are ones that make our memories come alive.