26 DAYS

Today is the last day of November. Black Friday is past as is Cyber Monday. We are now of the count down to Christmas. For those who have Advent calendars today is the day they need to be out, ready for tomorrows count down. As holiday music plays and wrapping paper, tissue, bows and bags litter my office I am trying to finish up my last Christmas gift. The last day of November is eventful in the fact that it is a day to recover and plan ahead all in one day.

My Christmas season is marked with parties, lunches, dinners and other get togethers with friends. I am just about finished with the decorations around the house. I still need to write and mail Christmas cards, wrap a few presents and then I am done with the preparations for the holidays.

Traditions need to be followed when having a holiday. It is what makes it memorable. Then again new experiences can be memorable too. In the spirit of mixing old and new I have decided to do one thing memorable for each of the days before Christmas. 26 DAYS! That can be a lot of work but then it’s what we put our effort into that pays off the biggest dividend. Today my goal is to talk to 2 friends that I haven’t seen for some time. They are friends that live across the Missouri River Bridge. For some reason the bridge has become a barrier to friendships. But not today.

I NEED TO BE FIRST ONCE IN A WHILE

This thanksgiving made me reflect on ME instead of WE. Family is the central aspect of Thanksgiving and everything we do is to strengthen or create lasting bonds within the family. This is how it should be; however, sometimes it needs to be a time to think about individual joy. As a woman I haven’t considered myself as important as my children, home, service or marriage. The problem with not building on your own needs is you end up snapping or become an empty-nester with no passion for life or those you are living with.

This past week I have spent time with some incredibly exciting people (my husband being included in the list). I want to be happier, better, more alive because of this time with these people. I want to always be important to my children but I don’t want my children to feel that they need to make me happy. I have discovered that there are some exciting things I still want to do with my life. Even more important is I realize that I can start right now planning and doing these exciting things. The best is yet to come!

p.s. thank you Stephanie for being so incredible! (see I read nie nie on side bar).

SUCH A HOLIDAY

The thanksgiving holiday can mean so much too so many. Most appetites will not be satisfied until too much rich food and deserts have been consumed. I have to laugh at all the in-law stories I have heard in the past couple of days. I’m sure there have been times when I am the main character in the in-law story being told. Weather is always a factor in the holidays and this year the winter storms messed up many travelers plans. Couch potatoes played flag football or basketball only to have dinner interrupted by an unplanned trip to the emergency room. Some families spent time going to the movies, watching football, or just visiting. Christmas trees and yard decorations are put up in many homes. The weekend wouldn’t be complete without a black Friday shopping trip. As family members spend the night out standing in line at the malls to snatch up the best deal others are snuggled in their beds sleeping off too much dinner. Friday is also the day of the year that most Americans eat out. Out of towners want to see the sights of our home town. Yes we Americans have the strangest holiday in the world. (I want you to know I'm describing my long weekend.)

Oh yes! I decided to not boor anyone with a long list of what I am thankful for. In stead I will just say I am happy, full of joy, and looking forward to the next decade of my life. That is best anyone could hope for.

SO I MADE MY OWN LIST

Do you have a Bucket List. A bucket list is a list of things you want to do before you die. Sometimes we die spiritually or mentally long before our physical death. Just as we morn the death of a young person who dies before their time we should also mourn for our own untimely demise. In order to keep us from sleep walking through life we need to find ourselves looking forward to something new and exciting to accomplish. Hence, the bucket list.

Recently I reviewed a list I had created ten years earlier. I have crossed of a few things on my list but I also realized that I wrote letting the opinions of those I love or wanted to impress dictate what I thought I wanted to do with my life. I think that is why my list goes untouched with no prospect of ever being accomplished. My husband on the other hand needs to start adding to his list because there are only one or two items left to accomplish.

So what do I need to do to create a true bucket list? Getting to know myself better is a priority. Being able to feel fear and not letting it stop me. Realistically evaluating what I really am capable of and I guess most important wanting to do what is on my list. So to begin my list the first thing I will write is doing a 10 K run/walk. Second create art that someone (not related to me) would buy. I have a good support network that will help me and encourage me. Ultimately it's all up to me. I can't wait!

So what’s on your list?

THE NEXT PERSON ON MY LIST

Getting back to interesting people I remember, there was Gertrude. She had lived a very interesting life in a lot of American cities. Gertrude blew into town one day looking for new scenery and new potential husbands (this was before internet dating). She didn’t count years married with one man but total years married because you see she had a way of outliving her husbands. Gertrude was on a mission and was currently looking for the next in line.

One day I saw Gertrude at the grocery store. As always she was almost dancing as she walked up and down the isles. Smiling and greeting everyone she met looking the picture of health except for one problem. Gertrude was wearing a neck brace. As I greeted her I was very concerned about what misfortune had befallen my new friend. She reassured me that nothing was wrong with her. She has just been to visit an acquaintance that had been in a car accident. The friend was in terrible pain and the only relief she got was from medication and a neck brace. Gertrude decided that pain would thwart her finding a husband so she decided to start wearing a neck brace. She argued that the brace would prevent whiplash in the event of an accident and it was only a small inconvenience right now. The plus side was she was now able to use handicap parking.

I saw her in the parking lot flirting with the older man who was helping her out with her groceries. He was trying to explain to her that she needed a special tag to park in handicap parking. Gertrude just said “now who would give a lady with a neck brace a ticket?”

Gertrude called one day excited to tell me she was moving to Montana. Not long after her move she communicated with all her friends throughout the country that she had found the perfect next husband and they had married. Now I don’t know what kind of wife Gertrude was but I know she fits into my list of people who make my memories come alive.

NOT SO ORDINARY

I think it's interesting that the normal, ordinary people in our lives are often forgotten and those we are most shocked by are the very people who make our memories come alive. One such person was Virginia. She was a lady about my age. She lived in a trailer court with her 5 cats 2 kittens, one very large dog and lots of mice she was always trying to get rid of. A fox pelt hung on a wall as well as assorted faded pictures. Couches, crowed into the room were covered with numerous throws and sheets. The room had the original paneling and carpet. Nothing had changed in the trailer since it was built some 45 years earlier. Virginia considered herself lucky to have a home.

Virginia was very tall, smoked cigars and spoke with a rather deep, raspy voice. She had worked as a tattoo artist. She showed me some of her tattoo, all drawn by her.

Virginia was a religious person. She would attend church taking the sacrament or communion whenever she went. One day a pious individual told her she was not to take communion since she wasn’t a member of their church. Virginia told him he would probably kick Jesus out too since he wasn’t a member of their church either. She then proceeded to take communion.

Virginia belonged to my church even though she hadn’t been to church since she was a teenager. I visited Virginia and tried to be a concerned individual. She said didn’t trust me. I was just there to show everyone how righteous I was. I told her that I would not report to my church that I was visiting her. True to my word I didn't. That helped. Then she said if I really wanted to show her that I was serious about caring for her I had to do something hard. She chose eating sushi. That was hard. I swore I would never eat sushi, but I did for Virginia.

Now if you don’t believe in prayer I want you to know I do. I prayed harder than I had ever prayed. The day we were to meet arrived and I drove us to a sushi place. Virginia ordered some things for us I had never heard of. I ate everything she ordered and loved it. Angels were looking after me that day.

Virginia is no longer alive. I miss her. She was an individual that changed my life. I know we were great friends. Christmas Eve will be here soon and as my family sits down to eat we will all sample the sushi dish in honor of Virginia. I sure do miss that friend of mine.

HONESTY

Recently I heard a mother punish her child for lying. She said what you did was not that bad but to lie about it was terrible. We need to be able to have a basic trust that people won’t lie to us. But what is a lie? I read recently that any communication given with the objective to deceive is a lie.

We live in an age where people live by lying. They defraud, cheat, con, swindle and mislead. By saying nothing or a nod of the head others lie. A person can destroy another by one lie. We see individuals sent to prison or loose a life savings by a simple lie. Reputations are destroyed, marriages left in shambles, friendships ended over a betrayal.

Being honorable is not just good it is a necessity if we are to have relationships with others. Honesty gives us a feeling of self worth. I am grateful that I have people in my life that I can trust. People I know won’t lie to me or about me. I know my name and reputation are safe with them. I have a special love for these individuals.

ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END

Wow is it quiet tonight. Kent is in bed and I’m looking at thousands of photo’s that have been shot these past 3 weeks. I miss the commotion. From about 6:30 am when the grandchildren awoke until long after we were asleep the sounds continued as the Parents played games or visited. Everyone will be back to work or school tomorrow. Children will be home playing with their familiar toys and moms will have piles of laundry to catch up on. Thank you family for the wonderful time.