THE NEXT PERSON ON MY LIST

Getting back to interesting people I remember, there was Gertrude. She had lived a very interesting life in a lot of American cities. Gertrude blew into town one day looking for new scenery and new potential husbands (this was before internet dating). She didn’t count years married with one man but total years married because you see she had a way of outliving her husbands. Gertrude was on a mission and was currently looking for the next in line.

One day I saw Gertrude at the grocery store. As always she was almost dancing as she walked up and down the isles. Smiling and greeting everyone she met looking the picture of health except for one problem. Gertrude was wearing a neck brace. As I greeted her I was very concerned about what misfortune had befallen my new friend. She reassured me that nothing was wrong with her. She has just been to visit an acquaintance that had been in a car accident. The friend was in terrible pain and the only relief she got was from medication and a neck brace. Gertrude decided that pain would thwart her finding a husband so she decided to start wearing a neck brace. She argued that the brace would prevent whiplash in the event of an accident and it was only a small inconvenience right now. The plus side was she was now able to use handicap parking.

I saw her in the parking lot flirting with the older man who was helping her out with her groceries. He was trying to explain to her that she needed a special tag to park in handicap parking. Gertrude just said “now who would give a lady with a neck brace a ticket?”

Gertrude called one day excited to tell me she was moving to Montana. Not long after her move she communicated with all her friends throughout the country that she had found the perfect next husband and they had married. Now I don’t know what kind of wife Gertrude was but I know she fits into my list of people who make my memories come alive.