A HAPPY STATE

I read about a study showing those who live together are happier than those who are married. I have been pondering this and have a lot of thoughts. Living with someone one you love can be a happy state. Fearing I might talk someone into skipping the ceremony I will not go into all the reasons but I can see how anyone could make an argument for living with someone without getting married. There is a fact that was left out of this study, however. If you live with someone you are at high risk for breaking up. Even more important if you marry someone you have lived with first your chances of divorcing that individual is 75% or higher. Another way of saying it, this is a temporary state.  So if your goal is just be in a state of happiness then go for living with the person you fall in love with, moving on when you are no longer happy.

Since I have been married for 43 years I would like to say something about that state that is not quite as happy and I’m not talking about one of the lower 48. What I have discovered about life is you are not always happy. I remember when Kent was working 16 hour days, 6 days a week and we had 3 young children who it seemed were sick most of the time. I will go on record in saying I was not happy. I loved my children and husband. I believed in what I was doing. I felt that the future would get better and it did. Kent and I believed in being civil and kind to each other which got us through the tough times. With the strong foundation we started with we never questioned the importance of being married. Now we can look back and smile at those times, realizing that our love was always there. Happiness just wasn’t the most important thing.

What I know, is happiness is nothing compared to the joy that comes to a loving couple who are committed to each other and in it for the long haul. Something those who live together will never know.

P.S. I am happy!