WE’RE IN THIS FOR THE LONG HAUL

It seems that most everything in the news today seems to affect me. I’m not sure if it’s because I have become a world traveler or if I have become a more sensitive less pragmatic individual. This week’s news that the Gores are separating seemed to hit me especially hard. Dinnertime conversation went from “I have trouble understanding the reasoning of the North Korean leadership…” to the Gores. I realize that their separation does not compare to the sinking of a ship, attacks on villages, natural disasters, or the concerns in the gulf but it still has shaken me to the core.

Couples separate or divorce all the time. But the Gores appeared to be different than other couples. I really believed that they genuinely liked each other. When this time of their lives should be one of planning what adventures they would do next they are planning how to divide their lives. There will be no one on the earth that will ever have their shared memories. Yes, they can create new memories and the children are grown so it’s not such a difficult experience for them but I wanted them to be different. I wanted them to be happy.

As Kent and I talked last night we discussed what we thought the roll of each spouse should be. It was interesting that we each discussed our individual roll not what we thought the other person should be doing. Maybe that is a sign that we are happy with each other and judging ways we should improve. We discussed our children’s reaction to the practical joke we pulled on them on Memorial Day. We discussed the visit of the grandchildren, Christmas plans and our next vacation. We are more in love today than ever before. In September we will celebrate 42 years of marriage. How fortunate for us and for all those who believe in us.

A FENCE BY ANY OTHER NAME

Fences are interesting. They are used to keep people or animals out or in. Sometimes their purpose is to define someone’s property line. They can be pieces of beauty or made for privacy. There has been such a fascination with fences that poets have written about them. Some of the most beautiful landscape scenes have a fences tastefully placed to balance the picture.

When we moved into our neighborhood there weren’t any fences. No one seemed to mind that the exact property line wasn’t marked. Children and animals roamed freely between yards.

Over time fences started to go up in the neighborhood. The first fence was to wall off a swimming pool. It was a beautiful pool with an even more beautiful fence. Next an older couple put up a fence to contain their dogs. Once the rabbits population realized the dogs couldn’t get out they enjoyed teasing the dogs by running in and out of the fence.

                                                           

Two of the neighbors got into a fight and suddenly more yards were fenced. One day I looked out and there were only 2 yards that didn’t have a fence, ours and the neighbor to our left. Children still run through the two yards. It is a great place to play hide-and-seek. Basketballs or soccer balls bounce and roll through the grass always followed closely behind by a child. We still hear laughter and it is enjoyable to go out and talk to our neighbor.

Fences are nice. They have a wonderful purpose. They also wall off a family from the rest of their neighbors. I have wondered at times why we enjoy stopping to talk to the neighbor to the left and don’t seem to see the other neighbors as much. Maybe it is what the fence represents in the neighborhood.

TO HONOR THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

To a special veteran who never was given the honor he deserved. He served in an undeclared and unpopular war. He had to leave a young wife and law school. The only honor given was by the government in the form of recognition and awards. Returning home from Vietnam on Christmas morning he walked off the military base, a civilian, greeted only by his wife and brother-in-law.

                                                                              

He served his country with HONOR and so he continues to live his life as one of service to his family, community, and church.

                                                

Sweetheart, you are a wonderful veteran. I am sorry the United States people didn’t recognize the service you had given. But I recognized and love you all the more for your willingness to answer to serve when called.

TO BLOG

There are so many blogs that are inspiring or profound. The authors are would be novelist, if they had time. They see the unusual in the usual. That’s not me. I have always thought I don’t want to be remembered by what I wrote but by what I did. In spite of all that I still blog. I guess it’s a journal of my life or a civil way to keep connected with others. I lasted on facebook for about a week. It can get a little rough from me.

So today I blog about my noxious plants. I have two in my yard. The first is a five leaf plant that is a parasite. I don’t know its real name but I have always heard it called the wild grape. This plant (without grapes) finds a host plant and then the vines attach and for a while make the host plant even more beautiful. Unfortunately the end result is death for the host and the five leaf parasite moves on. The second plant I have in my yard is a three leaf variety. Yes, it’s the “leaves of three let them be” kind of plant. Destroying and disposing of the plants can be very difficult. Even when the plant seems dead and gone you can rub against a dry leaf and have a weepy rash. It only has one name, poison ivy.

This weekend Kent and I will go outside and try to rid our yard of these plants. It must be done before we have nothing but wild grape and poison ivy in our yard.

THOSE THOUGHTS

We all have those thoughts. You know the ones that creep in and will not stop or go away. Sometimes it’s something someone said and we review over and over what we should have said in return. We remember our mistakes or shortcomings. We wonder why someone didn’t return an email or a phone call. Someone cut us off in traffic. Work isn't going the way we want. The list is endless but the thoughts circulating in our brain feels the same. We feel bad about ourselves and others. How can those thoughts be stopped.

The easiest is to be in the present. When the thoughts start that is the time to recognize everything around you. Can you hear a clock ticking? If you are outside what do you see. Recognize the weave of a fabric, the different colors in a single flower, the taste of what you are eating, the feel of what you are touching or anything else that brings you into the present. Staying in the present keeps you from going on a history tour. If once you are in the present if you find that you can’t stay there then go to your least favorite thing. Mine is multiplication tables. Going though the tables so completely redirects my thinking that I can completely leave those circular thoughts.

2 x 2 =4

2 x 3 = 6

2 x 4 = 8

I guess the final step in stopping thoughts is to go to positive thoughts. I am lucky that my husband, children (including
daughters/son-in-laws) and grandchildren are always happy thoughts.

Stopping thoughts is a habit that takes work to develop but oh the rewards are wonderful.

(Happy Birthday Becca)

SATURDAY NIGHT

Tonight I am going to another fundraiser. This time it is for youth to attend camp. The youth are coupled with adults to contribute services or products and our bids earn them the money they need for camp. There is also an enchilada dinner.

I always love the yard work that comes up. Kent gets tired of my continually wanting flowers here or moving a plant there. I want mulch and a lot of it. We always enjoy the end result but the work is hard for 60+ adults. Biding on youth helps them and helps me. That is always a win-win situation.

A LITTLE HELP NEEDED!

Taken from my son and daughter-in-law's blog:

This is not a typical post, but we really feel strongly about it and hope you'll consider supporting the online auction (already in progress!) on the blog of our friend's sister. The cause? To help raise funds to pay for the funeral expenses of sweet Baby Hailey, who passed away recently way before her time.


Some cool items were auctioned off yesterday, and today is Round 2, the final round:


http://fabulousfunfinds.blogspot.com/
 

The Hunters also have a blog: http://haileyangelbaby.blogspot.com/

 

This is a picture of my grandson, Wesley. It is a reminder to me that lives are so precious and yet so fragile. When the Hunter's baby died of SID's I wanted to do something but didn't know what. Now I have something I can do to help.

MOTHER'S DAY

The tree in front of our house was the home to a family of robins. Sunday we came home from church to find that some thing had taken all the babies out of the nest. It’s now empty. We were heart broken. I realize that many babies in the wild do not survive but we had hoped to watch them take flight. I had been watching another nest and saw a baby bird fledge. It was so exciting to watch the mother encouraging it to come out of the nest. First he flapped his wings and then took off. After a couple of seconds he came back to the nest. Finally he left and was gone. Both nests were empty. One brought me sorrow and one brought me joy. Mothers feel both when their children leave home. We want to know we have raised independent children but hate our children not needing us. This mother’s day was a day of joy for me. I loved talking to and being with my children and grandchildren. I’m glad they are independent and living the lives they want. I can’t think of a better gift than that for mother’s day.

REWARDS

Today I picked up my grand puppy from the groomers. She hates going there. The relief was very obvious when I walked in the building. We came home and played for a while. Khloe sat outside for a time and then it was nap time for grandma and Khloe. Now awake it is time to play again before starting dinner. I see Khloe waiting at the window for grandpa to come home. Pets bring a dimension to our lives that can’t come from any other source. It takes time and consistency for a pet to learn to trust us but the result is so rewarding. They are so dependant on us and yet so loving when we are less than perfect.

HOW DO I FIND HAPPINESS?

Happiness seems elusive. You fall in love and begin planning a wedding. You do many things to make sure your plans come into fruitions. Finally the happy day arrives. Family and friends assemble to help share your happiness. After the honeymoon a life together begins. Why is it that after so much work and such a well planned wedding the next year is the hardest and so many marriages fail?

I don’t have all the answers but I do think I have an idea of what is needed to be happy both in marriages and as individuals. For me I need time alone and time alone with my husband every day. If my or our time alone is spent worrying or thinking about what needs to get done then happiness is not going to occur. The companionship of stress is real and make being alone impossible. Planning and worrying about what needs to be done are two very different ideas. When I am alone and enjoying time thinking then I have met a very important personal need. The same hold true for my marriage.

To be happy I need to feel that I have a purpose in life. Marriages also need to have purpose. Most marriages focus on employment, bills, physical needs, children, housing, yard work, etc. These maybe considered necessities in a marriage but don't give a purpose to a marriage. When my husband and I each individually have purpose and then come together with a combined purpose we are happy. Having a purpose in life usually requires eliminating much of the things we feel are important. I had a friend that gave up a high paying job and fancy house so he could be home in the evening to play with his children and spend time with his wife without worry about his job. He had time for friends and service. He was happy and so was his family.

I find this is just scratching the surface of finding happiness. What about you? Are you able to find happiness?