...AND THEY LIVED...

Today I went online to buy a wedding gift for a friend’s daughter. As I looked at the invitation I noticed it was a lovely shade of sea foam green, with a matching ribbon and gray lettering. It states that the parents are thrilled with the new family being created. There is much joy and happiness as their future is planned.

As I logged off I received a call from a friend to tell me that after 15 years together his wife had filed for divorce. No one marries with the intent of getting a divorce but if happens none the less. The future looks bleak for these two friends and no one is happy. The only emotions are sorrow mixed with anger.

I have been thinking about my own marriage. Forty-three years ago I was in the position on my friend’s daughter, a young bride planning a future with my prince. I remember thinking I don’t just want to be married. I want a fairy tale life where we live happily ever after – and – you know we just might make it. So what's my secret?

Marry the right person

Love them unconditionally

Forgive them often

Be kind

And hope they do the same for you.

LIVES INTERUPTIONS

As I sit and listen to the thunder off in the distance I am reminded of last night at Lambert St. Louis Airport. As we waited for our plane, windows shaddered and the tornado came in and in spite of what CNN is saying there was no advanced warning. We had about 3 seconds to get under the chairs. Aside for cuts, bruises and a lot of stiffness we are well.

At the airport we saw a lot of heroes, compassion and kindness. We were certainly the recipient of all. We felt sorry for all the soldiers from Fort Lenard Wood who had just finished basic training and were on their way home. Having said that we felt their presence was very helpful in this emergency. They were trained to stay calm and help.

Our children all worked together to get Andrea to the airport. All the major freeways were closed because of the destruction and so Nathan in California checked the internet roads to tell Andrea where the open roads were. Ben helped monitor through the TV. Weaving her way thought the side roads Andrea got to us after 1:30 am. 

We miss seeing our California grandchildren. This was to be a fun weekend with them. Instead we are feeling grateful for those who planed and built the structure that could withstand nature’s furies. We are also grateful to a loving Savior because we felt his presence.

WHAT I BELIEVE

During the high holiday of Easter there are definite divisions of thought. There are atheists, those who really don’t care and Christians. To be a true atheist it is necessary to believe that all our emotions and beliefs are rooted in our genetic makeup. One must believe those who are religious followers invented religion to meet a need. Many who don’t care will be stocking up and looking forward to eating as many chocolate bunny ears as possible and enjoying all the fun traditions associated with Easter. A true Christian finds this is a time when our faith in God is felt in our minds and hearts. It has far greater significance than a simple Easter basket. (Side note: being a Christian doesn’t forbid me from eating chocolate bunny ears.)

When all the debate or lack of caring is said and done there is one fact that remains for me. Over 2,000 years ago, in a garden far far away, an empty tome signified that Christ did rise and because he lives we will too.

FROM STL TO LAX

I have been told that you should never mention in any social media that you are going on a vacation. That sets you up to be robbed. I’m not sure what someone would take at our house. I sell everything I don’t need on eBay and then put the money in the bank so I can earn a meager interest thus increasing my earnings. We only have small screen TV that are old and nothing else or electronic value. We keep a small glass container of coins so Kent can have money when he knows he is going to court and needs to park on the street. The other things in the house of value aren’t of street value such as the ostrich egg I got in Aruba or our extensive collection of used books.

My scrapbooking supplies would probably get $200 on eBay but can’t see anyone breaking in and robbing us of paper, bling and ribbon. Our computer is 3 years old and we don’t have a laptop, WII, Nintendo or anything like that. My husband’s camera is valuable but he will have that with him.

So we are packed and ready to go to LAX by way of STL direct. At least that is what my eticket tells me. Tonight we will be in Pasadena for a leisurely visit with our California children and grandchildren. The temperature is hovering around 70 degrees and sunny. We will be doing some new things like visiting the Huntington Gardens and some old things like going to Cherry On Top for ice cream with the grandchildren. June has some things planned to do with her grandpa and hopefully grandma. Wes will be reintroduced to us. When you are under the age of 2 you have a tendency to forget how fun your grandparents are in a few short months. We will color Easter eggs, have an egg hunt and go to church on Easter. This looks like it will be a wonderful 5 days.

TRADITIONS NEW VS. OLD

I got tickets for my children to go see STOMP. I decided that since tickets were quite expensive I wouldn’t go because, well, I didn’t know if I would enjoy the production. My children let me know it was a miss. It was enjoyed by everyone. They felt that even I, at my advanced age would have enjoyed the humor and action. Maybe in two years when it comes back I will give it a try. In a week I will be going to the Fox to see PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION. My children don’t think they would enjoy the production. I think it will be a miss.

As I grow older time seems to be moving at a much faster pace.  There is so much to do and see in the world that I truly wonder if I will see all that I want to see. Kent and I try to do one thing each month that is different and interesting. The problem is we have wonderful traditions that we hate to give up so we can do something new.

I READ NIE NIE

Like a million other people I read the NieNie Blog (see side bar). This is the saga of Stephanie Clark Nielson who was burned over 80% of her body. It is truly a story of triumph as Stephanie becomes a burn survivor rather than a victim. She has allowed us into her world as she describes what it is like to be reintroduced to her young children with a new scary face.

This past weekend Stephanie was in St. Louis for her mother’s birthday. She spoke to a group of 400+ women about her triumph and her faith in God. It was a very powerful experience. 20/20 was there. So was the St. Louis Post Dispatch and other unnamed news media.

I had meet Stephanie last November at the home of her parents. Kent and I talked to Stephanie for 30 minutes. When we left Kent said, “I thought she would look a lot worse. I guess she wasn’t burned as badly as we thought.” I remember reading her blog and seeing the before Stephanie pictures. I also vividly remember the day she showed her readers what she looked like with her new face. I couldn’t look at it. I wanted the old Stephanie back. Slowly I became accustomed to the new face and grew to love how she looked. Last week she posted a before Stephanie picture. It was a beautiful picture but it wasn’t Stephanie.

As I sat listening to Stephanie on Saturday I thought about my experience with her. Why did I find her so beautiful? As she discussed how people stared at her or made unkind remarks I just couldn’t understand. I guess she wasn’t burned as badly as I originally thought.

APRIL 15 is NOW APRIL 18

Today we did what we do every tax day. We paid our taxes. Uncle Sam decided to extend the date from April 15th to the 18th. Because of this we had to change our schedule considerably. No more eating at our favorite restaurant, signing the forms, writing out the payment checks and then going to the main post office at 11:45 pm. Instead we needed to have our return at the post office by the 5:00 pm closing since no one was going to be open late this year. After stopping by our accountant's office and the post office we still made a trip over to Pueblo for dinner. The Enchiladas were wonderful. We enjoyed visiting and talking about future plans. We visited with the owner, drove the hour home, arriving by 7:00 pm. 

Of note: some things never change. Kent worried all weekend that we would have to pay our life savings for taxes this year and I planned how we would spend the money we saved by over paying our taxes. Our accountant, Kevin was wonderful at finding all the deductions he could. Watch for follow up blogs on my much needed new stove.

THE NEXT GENERATION

Families are a place where funny stories abound. As our grandchildren grow and parents (our adult children) talk about their children the stories become funnier. One funny story was recently remembered as my granddaughter repeated some of her mother’s curiosity about life. Our story goes like this:

One day my daughter came home from elementary school. She proceeded to tell me how one girl in her class told them all about how babies were made. Her details were rather graphic. My daughter thought it was very disgusting that an adult would do something like that. So to resolve it in her mind she said “Don’t worry mom. Your reputation is safe. I told them you and dad would never do anything like that. You decided to adopt instead.”

DISCLAIMER

Google has decided that they are going to place adds on my blog. I will not be paid for these adds nor do I have a voice in whether or not they appear on my blog.  I guess Google is not making enough money. I'm sure they are going to use all that extra money to help pay down the National Debt or rebuild Japan, Haiti, Chile or some other place that recently has had terrible natural disasters. But if I find they are messing up my beautiful page just to make themselves richer I think I will decide to be very unhappy about the situation.

OH TO BE ATTRACTIVE!

We live in a world where being attractive is valued over most other qualities. Major advertising dollars are spent in helping convince the average looking person that they need to look beautiful. We read where men are becoming as obsessed with their looks as women going to Botox and a surgeon’s scalpel to help them look their best. This being said some of the most beautiful people are unable to maintain a relationship. Because of this single fact they are not happy.

There is another kind of attractiveness. It is known as being emotionally attractive. Being emotionally attractive means you can appreciate and connect with those who are different than you. You don’t have to have mutual interests to connect. You want to protect the friend or acquaintance when others might be critical of them. You are not easily offended or resentful of others success. Rather than always waiting for someone to give you praise you are quick to give a well deserved complement. Emotionally attractive people don’t feel entitled and they know how to value others. The most important part of being emotionally attractive is you are happy. Learning to value others makes you so much happier than waiting for others to tell you how beautiful or important you are.

NOT QUITE WHAT THEY HAD PLANNED

The weather is changing and this is a financial boon to our local municipality. No more snow to be removed and the cruisers have been replaced by cost effective motorcycles. O’Fallon’s finest don’t quite remind me of Officers Poncherello and Baker of CHIPS fame. None the less they seem to be enjoying themselves. They are also very busy. On my short rider over to Target I noticed three cars pulled over. The tickets being written will keep my taxes from going up so it’s a win win situation.

But as I glanced at the cars I noticed the first one was an older mini van with a mother and children. I wondered if it was fair that this mother was paying my taxes. Then next car was a Nissan Pathfinder. Again this was an older car. I wondered what sacrifices’ this individual would have to make to pay their ticket. The last car was driven by a young person who probably had a minimum wage job.

Now we know that the ticket is a deterrent to speeding and very effective. It is a necessary part of our society. That said I felt bad for these three individuals who were having a very bad day.

LIFE IS GOOD

I saw my doctor yesterday. She is young enough to be my daughter and in my opinion the best doctor in the world. Yesterday was an off day for her. She needed to talk to a counselor and was happy to have me in her office. A 50 year old patient had just died after a very hard illness. There was nothing she could do to relieve the suffering and it made her feel depressed. During this time she also had a young patient commit suicide. She questioned if she had done enough. I didn’t have solutions to her medial dilemma but I was prepared to help her understand the emotional aspect of being in a position where you are exposed to suffering. After I left my doctors office I took time to enjoy the sunshine and fresh air a little more. Life is good even when things are not what we want them to be.

LIFE ISN"T FAIR

We have never used any kind of swear words in our family. Even the commonly accepted words were never used just because they sounded like a curse. Our friends were of like mind and so our children’s friends didn’t curse either. We didn’t watch TV and our children were only allowed 1 hour a day of PBS TV. To say our children lived a rather sheltered life would be an understatement.

Kindergarten for our children was rather protected. All our children had Mrs. Gore. She had a Mr. Rogers personality and she ran her classroom just like you would expect in HIS neighborhood. First grade was a big change for Nate. One day I got a call from the principle. Apparently some of the boys in his class thought it was funny to teach Nate dirty words and then have him say them to his teacher. Nate was totally innocent and the teacher and principal knew this but rules were rules. Nate had been given one day in school suspension for cursing. The boys who set up Nate got 3 days of out of school suspension.

I thought the best thing to do was to allow Nate to learn from this experience. Years later Ben came home from school wanting to tell me a dirty joke. Once the joke was out of Ben’s mouth Nate grabbed him and began chewing him out. Allowing Nate to suffer through one day of school consequences had lasting impact on him and each of my children as he made sure they understood the rules. It’s hard as a mother to allow our children to learn from their mistakes even if they are innocent. But life isn’t fair and it’s good for each of us to learn this early in life.